His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
