now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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