dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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