butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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