the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The air was thick with penises
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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