I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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