But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
