I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
