Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
