There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
