I wish life had little blips of pornography
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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