did you get engaged???
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
