I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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