Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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