They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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