is your mom at the bar?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
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