Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
