you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
