You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
