he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
