Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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