Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
