you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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