what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
