I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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