he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
