Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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