how can u be prego again
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
