Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
