I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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