a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
