Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
