people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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