she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
