you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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