loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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