Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
