Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
