I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Two words: nipple clamps
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