The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
