yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
