We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
