so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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