WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
