Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
