brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
