I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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