I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
