so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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