you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The adults are the big ones right?
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