Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
