we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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