So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
