we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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