Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
