I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
