Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
