Just fell off a train. Bad.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
